Thanks for stopping by! I am going to try and post in here a little more often :) Writing down the shit that storms around in my head seems to be working well and the poor old mojo seems to respond well, so whatever works, right?
Being a 'single mum' is not a position I ever thought I would be in again. I believed that because we (he and I) have made it through a mountain of crap together that we were guaranteed, rock solid, completely secure in our relationship together. I don't know what happened... I know he got bored, or maybe it was a 'holy shit I am getting old' moment. I know that I had reached a point in my life and in my relationship where I was so anxious all the time, I would find myself awake at 4am feeling like I was drowning. My health was suffering and there didn't seem to be a whole lot of my life that was in my control. Yet I never thought about bailing, not about anyone else or ever being with anyone but him.
I don't know where I became someone that he could pass on. I have a million questions that I don't actually want the answers too lol, and that alone sounds crazy.
I seem to spend a lot of time looking at the sky at the moment. More often than not, its when I am with my kids and I am doing anything I can to fight back tears. How the hell did I get here? I ask myself that question multiple times a day. The support I have had from friends in the last few months has completely blown my mind. And I am so very very thankful for those people. I like to think I am tough, and I am trying to make sure that I stay strong and brave but honestly, I am just putting one foot in front of the other, hoping to make it to the end of the day. Im not depressed now, just trudging.
Better keep trudging!
'Til next time xx
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