Hey there...
How's life treating ya? This blog seems to be becoming just a 'ranting bitching purge all the yucky things in my head' spot.
I am a bit lost these days. I don't seem to fit anywhere. That scares me. I am not even sure why, because its not like I have a long history of fitting in or even like I was part of the in crowd in high school. I just seem to be having trouble finding my groove again since being single again I guess. I never realised how much value I put in knowing that I was loved. Or how much sadness and hurt would come with questioning whether or not any of it was ever real. I saw my psych today - the first step in moving forward. When I told her what had happened in the last couple of years, the look on her face was priceless. There has been a whole lot in the last few years and I have spent a lot of time glossing over it all and coping as best as I could. But it hasn't been fun and whilst I have made sure that I stayed on top of how it all was affecting every one else, I didn't do a very good job of taking note of how it was affecting me.
I have a plan in place and the only thing that can stop me making shit happen, is me. I have to do this. I have to remember that valuing me can not come from other peoples opinions. Though I have to admit, support has come from the most unexpected places. People that I thought were friends have vanished and I have been fortunate enough to meet some beautiful people, who don't expect anything from me than just me. I am beyond thankful for those people.
I know now I need to surround myself with good people and unfortunately, that means a few fall from the friend zone into a no-go zone. People that I thought were good and kind turned out to be manipulative and self-centred and its time I stop letting people do that to me.
So if you are reading, forgive me for the lack of creativity here at the moment. I am sure I'll find it again... I just have to spend a little time finding myself first.
'Til next time...
Tuesday 9 February 2016
Monday 18 January 2016
Well, hey there January...
Hey there, thanks for stopping by :)
Is it just me, or is time flying by so quickly these days, its kinda hard to keep up? I have high hopes for this year and am working quietly in the background over here, working hard to get things flowing and moving.
In making changes, I neglected to look at and consider the knock-on effect of those changes. Like in having my license finally, and then crashing my car. Or finally moving away from habits that aren't necessarily good for me, but seem to be so difficult to break. I don't want to sound like a victim, because that is so far from the truth, but there are times lately that I feel like this life is happening to me, out of my control. And I know I need to take pre-emptive actions if that is ever going to change.
I decided this year I needed a mantra to keep me accountable for my choices and my actions. Do you have a mantra? I am holding the cards pretty close to my chest right now, in fear I guess that if I disclose all the bubbling messy stuff that is happening in my head, that my chances of being 'okay' are limited.
Counselling is back on the table, and although I have taken this route before, I truly believe that this is a good move for me. I thought before that I was 'fixed' and while that may have been true at the time, maybe all of those old issues were fixed... time has bought with it some fun new things that I need to deal with. Being single again, and all the hurt that goes with it - well it was certainly not something I was expecting. I have spent so much of my life trying to be 'good' and I think now maybe its time to look at why I am so hard on myself. I was given some unsolicited advice the other day (funnily enough from my ex) and he said to me 'no matter how good you try to be, how good you are, sometimes life is going to let you down, and people are going to let you down - and that has nothing to do with how good YOU are'.
This hit me pretty hard, especially where it came from. I am struggling with what life is dishing up at the moment, and concepts that I thought I had all figured out, like HOME and FAMILY and LOVE all now mean different things. So, I have a choice here- maintain my control freak status and frantically snatch at perceived perfection... or I can learn to manage these life situations better, and conquer this shit once and for all.
I am taking responsibility for what happens in my life from now on, and taking responsibility for what comes of it. Although at times it feels like I am getting to know a stranger. I am clutching at figuring out who I am, and the changes that are occurring. I had a whole life planned, and those plans are now unattainable. It's time to make some new plans. Keeping fingers crossed for smooth sailing, wish me luck!
Is it just me, or is time flying by so quickly these days, its kinda hard to keep up? I have high hopes for this year and am working quietly in the background over here, working hard to get things flowing and moving.
In making changes, I neglected to look at and consider the knock-on effect of those changes. Like in having my license finally, and then crashing my car. Or finally moving away from habits that aren't necessarily good for me, but seem to be so difficult to break. I don't want to sound like a victim, because that is so far from the truth, but there are times lately that I feel like this life is happening to me, out of my control. And I know I need to take pre-emptive actions if that is ever going to change.
I decided this year I needed a mantra to keep me accountable for my choices and my actions. Do you have a mantra? I am holding the cards pretty close to my chest right now, in fear I guess that if I disclose all the bubbling messy stuff that is happening in my head, that my chances of being 'okay' are limited.
Counselling is back on the table, and although I have taken this route before, I truly believe that this is a good move for me. I thought before that I was 'fixed' and while that may have been true at the time, maybe all of those old issues were fixed... time has bought with it some fun new things that I need to deal with. Being single again, and all the hurt that goes with it - well it was certainly not something I was expecting. I have spent so much of my life trying to be 'good' and I think now maybe its time to look at why I am so hard on myself. I was given some unsolicited advice the other day (funnily enough from my ex) and he said to me 'no matter how good you try to be, how good you are, sometimes life is going to let you down, and people are going to let you down - and that has nothing to do with how good YOU are'.
This hit me pretty hard, especially where it came from. I am struggling with what life is dishing up at the moment, and concepts that I thought I had all figured out, like HOME and FAMILY and LOVE all now mean different things. So, I have a choice here- maintain my control freak status and frantically snatch at perceived perfection... or I can learn to manage these life situations better, and conquer this shit once and for all.
I am taking responsibility for what happens in my life from now on, and taking responsibility for what comes of it. Although at times it feels like I am getting to know a stranger. I am clutching at figuring out who I am, and the changes that are occurring. I had a whole life planned, and those plans are now unattainable. It's time to make some new plans. Keeping fingers crossed for smooth sailing, wish me luck!
Thursday 31 December 2015
Planning Project Life and Project Life Planning!
Hey hey hey!
Well lookie here... it's the sparkling brand new first day of 2016! I have a little share here today, regarding planners and how I plan to link my planner in with my Project Life - how's that for organisation?
Here is my planner spread for the last week.
See the groovy little QR code in there? The funny box shaped dooverlackeywhatsit with all the squares? Well that lovely little box, is a direct link to blog posts sharing my Project Life and Planner layout for December/Christmas. That PL layout is below for anyone who is interested :)
This is going to be a new feature in my layouts, or at least my monthly layouts, so that everything links back to each other and is co-ordinated s that I can find the relevant stuff if I need it. If there is ever a month that I need to link to more than one place, I will just add extra QR codes.
All you need is a QR generator - you can find a million of these on Google. Pop in the link to where you want the QR code to lead to, and print the magic little box dooverlackeywhatsit. Then just insert the printed image anywhere and it will lead you to the relevant post. Then, on any smart phone or device, you can download a QR reader that will direct to the links :) Pretty cool huh?
I would love your feedback so pop me a comment in the box below and I'll get back to you :) I hope 2016 brings you all the joy and scrapping goodness your precious hearts can handle! As always, thanks for reading.
Well lookie here... it's the sparkling brand new first day of 2016! I have a little share here today, regarding planners and how I plan to link my planner in with my Project Life - how's that for organisation?
Here is my planner spread for the last week.
See the groovy little QR code in there? The funny box shaped dooverlackeywhatsit with all the squares? Well that lovely little box, is a direct link to blog posts sharing my Project Life and Planner layout for December/Christmas. That PL layout is below for anyone who is interested :)
This is going to be a new feature in my layouts, or at least my monthly layouts, so that everything links back to each other and is co-ordinated s that I can find the relevant stuff if I need it. If there is ever a month that I need to link to more than one place, I will just add extra QR codes.
All you need is a QR generator - you can find a million of these on Google. Pop in the link to where you want the QR code to lead to, and print the magic little box dooverlackeywhatsit. Then just insert the printed image anywhere and it will lead you to the relevant post. Then, on any smart phone or device, you can download a QR reader that will direct to the links :) Pretty cool huh?
I would love your feedback so pop me a comment in the box below and I'll get back to you :) I hope 2016 brings you all the joy and scrapping goodness your precious hearts can handle! As always, thanks for reading.
Thursday 24 December 2015
Merry Christmas to all...
Hey hey hey!
Merry Christmas! Well, Christmas Eve!
My kidlets have just gone to bed, and I am feeling pretty anxious right now. Tomorrow will be the first year that I haven't spent Christmas day with my kids. I will see them in the morning and then tomorrow night, but during the day, they are going to their dad's house.
I am feeling a little fragile. There have been lots of tears this week... overwhelmed to say the least. On Monday I completed my Diploma, and I was supposed to have a rent inspection on Wednesday, but the agent cancelled - at 8:55am. Far out, the effort I go to for an inspection is always over the top, but the house was freakin immaculate, so when she pulled out at the last minute, I was pissed!
Anyway, the house is clean I guess. I am volunteering at a Homeless Christmas Lunch tomorrow, something I have wanted to do for a really long time, and when it was decided that my kids would be with their dad, it was the perfect time for me to go ahead and make it happen. I needed a reason to drive away from my kids and not cry.
This year has been so dull of challenges, and my kidlets are so beautiful and wonderful and mature about all this 'family' stuff, but I think we are all very aware of the monumental shift that happened in our lived when their father left. It was unexpected and then to have another person thrown into the mix (his girlfriend) so quickly - well, that leaves a certain mark. I don't know what the new year has in store for myself and my babies, but I hope it is better than 2015.
Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, I hope that you have a beautiful Christmas, and the New Year is filled with lots of love and happiness for all of us. Thank you for reading along throughout the year so far, looking forward to sharing more with you next year.
'Til then...
Merry Christmas! Well, Christmas Eve!
My kidlets have just gone to bed, and I am feeling pretty anxious right now. Tomorrow will be the first year that I haven't spent Christmas day with my kids. I will see them in the morning and then tomorrow night, but during the day, they are going to their dad's house.
I am feeling a little fragile. There have been lots of tears this week... overwhelmed to say the least. On Monday I completed my Diploma, and I was supposed to have a rent inspection on Wednesday, but the agent cancelled - at 8:55am. Far out, the effort I go to for an inspection is always over the top, but the house was freakin immaculate, so when she pulled out at the last minute, I was pissed!
Anyway, the house is clean I guess. I am volunteering at a Homeless Christmas Lunch tomorrow, something I have wanted to do for a really long time, and when it was decided that my kids would be with their dad, it was the perfect time for me to go ahead and make it happen. I needed a reason to drive away from my kids and not cry.
This year has been so dull of challenges, and my kidlets are so beautiful and wonderful and mature about all this 'family' stuff, but I think we are all very aware of the monumental shift that happened in our lived when their father left. It was unexpected and then to have another person thrown into the mix (his girlfriend) so quickly - well, that leaves a certain mark. I don't know what the new year has in store for myself and my babies, but I hope it is better than 2015.
Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, I hope that you have a beautiful Christmas, and the New Year is filled with lots of love and happiness for all of us. Thank you for reading along throughout the year so far, looking forward to sharing more with you next year.
'Til then...
Saturday 19 December 2015
Planner Playtime!
Hey hey hey!
Hasn't this month just completely flown by! First up, a little disclaimer... I apologise in advance for the quality of my photos - and openly admit that they were taken, tucked away in the laundry on top of the freezer... because that appears to be the best light in my house at the moment.
It is rent inspection week here and I have been running around like a crazy - you know my planner has been getting a workout! I fkn hate rent inspections! After living in the same house for over 7 years, you would think they could reduce the rent inspections - every 3 months seems excessive. The last inspection the lady had nothing to see had even changed, but observantly noticed I had a new kettle.
I thought I would share with you, a couple of spreads from my planner, and I even had a go at making a dashboard this week too :) That was fun... I like laminating lol
The coloured squares are made with scrapping paper, from an older Heidi Swapp Christmas range, and the dashboard - that was a cheeky card I found at Typo. I love that store too, especially at this time of year! Lots of cheeky Christmas shit and even a few bah-humbug pieces for those like myself that would rather sleep on a bed of Lego than handle another Christmas.
I have big plans - hehehehe- for my planner, and how to incorporate it more into our regular lives. I am currently looking for work, hoping to get something that doesnt impact too much on my kids, but I need the variety in my life and the extra money would certainly help with raising these teenagers. Homeschooling is no longer an option for us, so my girl is pretty disappointed, but 2015 bought many changes for all of us. Being on my own, working, studying and all that jazz is going to be full on - its not fair for her if we continue and she isn't getting the best education I can offer her. And if I am honest, I am even kinda looking forward to meeting some new people. Pop in next week and check it out, in the meantime, let me know what you think. I am still pretty new to this and would love some pointers!
6 sleeps til Christmas!
Hasn't this month just completely flown by! First up, a little disclaimer... I apologise in advance for the quality of my photos - and openly admit that they were taken, tucked away in the laundry on top of the freezer... because that appears to be the best light in my house at the moment.
It is rent inspection week here and I have been running around like a crazy - you know my planner has been getting a workout! I fkn hate rent inspections! After living in the same house for over 7 years, you would think they could reduce the rent inspections - every 3 months seems excessive. The last inspection the lady had nothing to see had even changed, but observantly noticed I had a new kettle.
I thought I would share with you, a couple of spreads from my planner, and I even had a go at making a dashboard this week too :) That was fun... I like laminating lol
 |
| Monthly Spread |
 |
| Weekly Spread |
 |
| Weekly Spread |
 |
| Most recent weekly spread |
 |
| Dashboard :) |
The coloured squares are made with scrapping paper, from an older Heidi Swapp Christmas range, and the dashboard - that was a cheeky card I found at Typo. I love that store too, especially at this time of year! Lots of cheeky Christmas shit and even a few bah-humbug pieces for those like myself that would rather sleep on a bed of Lego than handle another Christmas.
I have big plans - hehehehe- for my planner, and how to incorporate it more into our regular lives. I am currently looking for work, hoping to get something that doesnt impact too much on my kids, but I need the variety in my life and the extra money would certainly help with raising these teenagers. Homeschooling is no longer an option for us, so my girl is pretty disappointed, but 2015 bought many changes for all of us. Being on my own, working, studying and all that jazz is going to be full on - its not fair for her if we continue and she isn't getting the best education I can offer her. And if I am honest, I am even kinda looking forward to meeting some new people. Pop in next week and check it out, in the meantime, let me know what you think. I am still pretty new to this and would love some pointers!
6 sleeps til Christmas!
Thursday 10 December 2015
Planner Playtime!
Hey hey hey!
How are you? Been busy? Its been a little chaotic here, school is winding up and it feels like there are a million activities on the go at the moment! So thankful for my MAMBI Create 365 Happy Planner! Isn't she pretty?
I have to say, I love love love that you can remove the pages from these planners! This is a must of you are wanting freedom to decorate, as you then don't need to work around the spine or centre as with most planners. The paper is incredible good quality and I have had a chance to play with some stamps, which I will share in some up-coming posts :) MAMBI have also created some extension packs for the planners, including the Household Extension Page pack, which includes a section for To-Do Lists, Meal Planners, House Cleaning Schedules and Budgets.
There are an incredible amount of accessories available for these planners - MAMBI has really considered the needs of those that need to pretty up their planners. Even if you aren't into
pretty-ing and decorating, the layout in these is perfect for day-to-day planning, with enough space to add in the families activities too!
Do you get creative in your Planner? Do you want to? Leave me some questions in the comments box and I will get back to you! Feel free to share your blog links so I can check out your planner too!
How are you? Been busy? Its been a little chaotic here, school is winding up and it feels like there are a million activities on the go at the moment! So thankful for my MAMBI Create 365 Happy Planner! Isn't she pretty?
I have to say, I love love love that you can remove the pages from these planners! This is a must of you are wanting freedom to decorate, as you then don't need to work around the spine or centre as with most planners. The paper is incredible good quality and I have had a chance to play with some stamps, which I will share in some up-coming posts :) MAMBI have also created some extension packs for the planners, including the Household Extension Page pack, which includes a section for To-Do Lists, Meal Planners, House Cleaning Schedules and Budgets.
There are an incredible amount of accessories available for these planners - MAMBI has really considered the needs of those that need to pretty up their planners. Even if you aren't into
pretty-ing and decorating, the layout in these is perfect for day-to-day planning, with enough space to add in the families activities too!
Do you get creative in your Planner? Do you want to? Leave me some questions in the comments box and I will get back to you! Feel free to share your blog links so I can check out your planner too!
Friday 4 December 2015
Project MY LIFE MY WAY!
Hey hey hey!
How's life? Has Christmas craziness hit at your place yet? Things are going pretty smoothly here at the moment, though its busy busy while I try and get organised for the school holidays!
This weeks share is a big one about holiday dreaming! Life has been tough for the last few months and while I cant afford holidays right now, its nice to dream! I LOVE the Pink Paislee ranges at the moment and the Atlas range was perfect for a layout like this.
How is Christmas looking for you? You don't think I am going to get a couple of quiet scrapping days, do you? Are you? Let me know!
How's life? Has Christmas craziness hit at your place yet? Things are going pretty smoothly here at the moment, though its busy busy while I try and get organised for the school holidays!
This weeks share is a big one about holiday dreaming! Life has been tough for the last few months and while I cant afford holidays right now, its nice to dream! I LOVE the Pink Paislee ranges at the moment and the Atlas range was perfect for a layout like this.
How is Christmas looking for you? You don't think I am going to get a couple of quiet scrapping days, do you? Are you? Let me know!
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